Critical of Critics
by E. Charl Hattingh

There I was...Four movies in my hands.  I was at the video store.  I couldn't decide what to get.  Finally I decided on Hedwig And The Angry Inch.  After all, Rolling Stone called it "Visionary Rock Firepower!"  Roger Ebert gave it "Thumbs Up!"  The Wall Street Journal said "Not to be missed.  Hedwig is hysterically funny."  I also remembered that it was one of the top rated movies in Entertainment Weekly's year end issue.  It would surely be better than Rock Star!  But alas...

Are these people kidding me?  I wasted precious money and time (only 45 minutes though - Who could watch more?).  Visionary?  Maybe as visionary as a man inventing a square wheel!  Thumbs up?  More like middle fingers up!  Hysterically funny?  Did this guy actually watch this movie?  He was probably on something when he watched it...Laughing gas?

As you're reading this, I beg of you, do not waste your time renting this movie.  Through the torture of the first 45 minutes that I sat through this movie, I did not laugh a single moment.  I didn't even smirk.  And I think the point of this movie was that it was supposed to make fun of the whole glam rock scene.

The "angry inch" that the title refers to is actually the main character's manhood that was cut off so that he can pose as a woman so he can marry a man to get out of East Berlin.  I lived through the glam rock of the eighties, and this movie doesn't even come close to explaining that really funny way of life.

Also, I beg of you not ever to listen to critics again.  Let them give their opinions if they want to.  Let me give my opinions too, but don't listen.  If you want to see a movie, go see it.  If the preview looks good, go see it.  But please don't listen to critics.  They're caught up in this higher than thou world.  They truly believe that they know what they're talking about.  They don't.  Unless they get paid or something to give the reviews that they give.

One thing that I'm trying to do with my reviews is to look at it from my point of view as a critic, and what I think everybody else will think of it.  In my review for Amelie, I liked it as a critic.  But I realize that it's not a movie for everyone.  It's a foreign independent movie.  There is a reason that independent movies make so little money.  The movie-going public as a whole just doesn't care for movies like that.  So, in my reviews I will tell you whether you will like it or not.  But even then, if you still want to see the movie, don't listen to what I have to say.

My two favorite movies of the year is one big, adventure, action movie (The Lord Of The Rings) and the other is a low budget, independent thriller (Memento).  They are about as opposite as you can get.  The one movie is a major blockbuster and the other made $30 million or so.  I loved Memento, but I know that it's not a movie that everyone will find interesting.  It really is very confusing.  I now regret telling people how much I liked the movie.  I should have told them that they will probably not like it.  From now on, with all my reviews, I'm going to be honest and straightforward.  I'm going to tell you what I think of it as a critic and then whether you will like it or not.  Bear with me though...Everyone has different tastes.  But at least I will take your movie tastes into consideration, unlike these so-called critics.