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| Interview
with George Clooney (Humor) |
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E. Charl Hattingh,
columnist for LMI and BOFC |
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I sat up all night prior to
my first ever interview with one of Hollywood's
biggest stars. I tried to figure out just what I would
ask Mr. George Clooney. As the interview drew near, I
looked over all my notes. I don't think people realize
how much goes into research before an interview. But
this was huge for me. I received a perfect time slot
to interview the great Mr. Clooney: On the eve of one
of the biggest entertainment events of the year!
As I sat opposite Mr.
Clooney, the shaking started. It started with my
little toe and moved from toe to toe until all my toes
were shaking. Then the shaking went all the way up my
legs through my mid section, all the way to my head. I
was shaking violently. When the servants were done
cleaning up after I lost my lunch, I got back to the
interview. |
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What
To Look Forward To... |
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Lord Of The Rings
Dec. 19
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The Majestic
Dec. 21
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Ali
Dec. 25
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E. Charl Hattingh:
So...So...So...Uh, thank you.
George Clooney (with a quizzical look):
Sure?
ECH: Uh, thank you for...Uh...Meeting with me.
GC: You're welcome.
ECH: So, you must get like tons of women!
GC: Yeah, I would say that I get my fair
share.
ECH: Anybody famous?
GC: That's kind of personal.
ECH: Oh, sorry.
(I searched through my notes feverishly for a
question, as my body continued to shake)
ECH: So, boxers or briefs?
GC (frowning): Briefs.
ECH: Oh cool...So is mine. Maybe we can
trade sometime.
(I could not believe that those words came out of my
mouth. My face turned blood red)
GC: Uh, I don't think so. Did you want to
ask me about the movie?
ECH: Oh yeah! So, tomorrow night is the big
night!
GC: Tomorrow night?
ECH: The Facts Of Life TV movie reunion.
GC: Oh, I'm not in that.
ECH: You're not? Then why are you doing this
interview?
GC: For Ocean's 11.
ECH: The sequel to Ocean's 10?
GC: No, it's my movie coming out in
theaters on December 7th.
ECH: You've made the jump to movies?
GC (chuckling): Yes, quite a few years
ago.
ECH: Really? I should do more research.
GC: This movie costars Julia Roberts and
Brad Pitt, among others.
ECH: How's Julia in bed?
GC: I wouldn't know.
ECH: Whatever, you player!
GC: Listen here you idiot! Can we just
talk about the movie?
ECH: Hell no! This is huge! You slept with
Julia Roberts! I can sell this story to
the Enquirer!
And that, my friends, was
the end of the interview. The reason this interview
took such a long time to be published is that I spent
the last few weeks recovering in the hospital after
Mr. Clooney pummeled me.
Turns out that Mr.
Clooney has been in quite a few movies. The way he was
hitting made me think that he probably got the lead
for Ali as well. Anyway, hopefully my next interview
will go better, as I talk to rapper/TV star Will Smith
about his work in music and the hilarious TV show
"Fresh Prince Of Bel Air". |
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