E. Charl Hattingh, columnist for BOFC

"You're Not a True Star Wars Fan!"

Who is your favorite Star Wars character out of all of the movies?  Is it Luke? How about Leia? Or does young Queen Amidala strike your fancy? Oh, do you like the bad guys instead? Boba Fett maybe? Oh, no, what about Darth Vader? Or is your favorite Darth Maul?

Well, you know who my favorite character out of all the Star Wars movies is? JAR JAR BINKS!!!  What, do you have a problem with that? Is Jar Jar too goofy for you? Is he annoying? Well, sorry pal, You're Not A True Star Wars Fan then.

I know, you think I'm an idiot.  How can I possibly think that Jar Jar is the best character from the Star Wars universe? Truth be told, my favorite character of all is Han Solo. But I don't hate Jar Jar. I don't create a site where people can see how many different ways they can kill Jar Jar. I don't care for the "Phantom Edit", where in Jar Jar is left out most of the movie, or so I've heard. In fact, I enjoyed Jar Jar.

Now the teaser for Attack of The Clones has premiered and again people are complaining.  "The teaser doesn't show enough" (Of course they didn't show enough. I wanted to see the whole movie. But I guess that's why they call it a TEASER).  "The menacing breathing of Darth Vader should've been replaced by music".  Whine, whine, whine. It seems that, just like Michael Jackson, George Lucas can do nothing right these days. Now Lucas plans on premiering a longer-than-two-minute preview in front of Harry Potter. And let me just predict what so-called Star Wars fans are going to complain about this time: "They show way too much of the movie in the preview!"

Will this whining never end? Damn Jar Jar Binks for ever happening! It's his fault that so many people seem to dislike Star Wars. Or is it?

Think back a few years ago. Remember when the Special Editions of the first trilogy came out in theaters? Remember all the money they made? Remember people whining about how silly the added footage was? Oh yeah, you remember the people whining, don't you. That's where it all started. This feeling of discontent has been building up ever since then. What do you people want? These are Star Wars movies we're talking about! Some of the greatest movies ever created.

Okay, I know there are still Star Wars fans out there. Phantom Menace did sell over two million copies on DVD its first week out. And the $430 million it made in the theater was a huge success, even though it didn't break Titanic's record (But remember that Menace came out over a busy summer season, and Titanic had hardly any competition for something like three or four months).  And many of you will still turn out to see Attack of The Clones (Even those of you that keep complaining, and will no doubt continue to until after Episode III is released).

You're probably thinking that I am the biggest Star Wars fan of all time. No, I'm not. In fact my favorite movie is either The Godfather or The Godfather Part II.  But still, Star Wars has had a huge affect on my life. I started writing after I saw The Empire Strikes Back (the first Star Wars movie I ever saw, and subsequently rented the other two and watched them with a bright smile). When I discovered this wonderful fantasy world, I was filled with excitement. I wanted to create something like that. One of the first things I wrote was a sequel to Return Of The Jedi.  About forty or so pages into it, I realized that I didn't have what it takes to write Star Wars. Of course I was also fourteen at the time and new to this country, so that didn't help. But Star Wars had stirred something inside of me. And it continues to do so with every movie, or piece of a movie, or the mention of something to come in a Star Wars movie. That's what these so-called Star Wars fans have lost somewhere along the way. Do you remember the magic when you saw Star Wars for the first time?  You couldn't believe your eyes and ears. This was something special. And it CONTINUES to be.  Phantom Menace wasn't just another movie. It's Star Wars! And be thankful for it. Once again you're being transported to a galaxy far, far away. And so you should look forward to Episode II, and Episode III, and maybe if you quit complaining the great George Lucas will grace us with Episodes 7 through 9 (I know, I know.  He said he's not going to do those, but a dreamer can dream can't he?). It sure as hell doesn't help if you complain.

Everyone just take a deep breath, relax and enjoy.  It's Star Wars!