Movie Review
What Happens in Vegas...
What Happens in Vegas poster
By Craig Younkin     Published May 10, 2008
US Release: May 9, 2008

Directed by: Tom Vaughan
Starring: Cameron Diaz , Ashton Kutcher

PG-13 for some sexual and crude content, and language, including a drug reference.
Running Time: 99 minutes
Domestic Box Office: $80,272,065
D+
Just dumb. I expected nothing less, was hoping to be surprised, but am completely unsurprised.
“What Happens in Vegas” reminds me of that great “Seinfeld” episode; the one where Jerry and George create a sitcom pilot about a traffic accident that results in the guy without insurance being the butler of the other man. It’s the idiot plot, a concept that “Vegas” indulges in like a free buffet dinner. The movie proves that what happens in Vegas should sometimes just stay on the cutting room floor.

The movie stars Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher as Joy and Jack. Joy got dumped by her boyfriend while Jack just got fired from his job. Both needing a pick-me-up, they are convinced by their friends (Rob Corddry, Lake Bell) to take a trip to Vegas, and after one wild and drunken night, the two wake up in the morning to find each other lying in holy matrimony. Not only that, but while trying to end the marriage, Jack wins a huge jackpot after playing Joy’s quarter, throwing a wrench into the divorce proceedings. Whoever gets the other to divorce them first is entitled to the money, and so the “happy” couple move in with one another and hatch escalating schemes in order get the other to bail out of the marriage first. Only if you’ve seen this kind of thing before, what do you think happens when they come back from Vegas?

It’s a contrived sitcom from the start. Even before I went in I knew what I was getting myself into. Still, if the movie was funny it would more than make up for the complete lack of anything new. I was surprised with the kinetic and wild energy that director Tom Vaughan brings to the opening Vegas scenes, as it almost made me think that this movie may actually be likable. But then these two idiots wake up married and the movie slows to a halt. They each find one witless and unfunny way after another to get on the other’s nerves. Joy hogs the bathroom, Jack pees in the sink, Jack rubs his balls then handles food, Joy throws food at him. At one point Jack gives himself a black eye to show that Joy is abusive. The movie wouldn’t dare do it the other way around because, of course, spousal abuse on a wife isn’t nearly as hilarious. I don’t know what’s more insulting, that the movie finds this crap funny or that in the last half it expects us to buy this phony romance based on life lessons and profound understanding.

And then you have Kutcher and Diaz, two likable actors forced to play with bottom of the barrel material. Kutcher seems to know the material is terrible and tries to be comedic in his own way but the effort turns out to be more obnoxious and overwrought instead. And Diaz is just shrill and unpleasant. We don’t buy it when these two turn from being incredibly mean and nasty to one another to actually understanding the other and so the romance just flounders. On the upside, Rob Corddry is in the movie and he is fastly becoming comedy’s best supporting player.

“What Happens in Vegas” is just dumb. I expected nothing less, was hoping to be surprised with more, but am completely unsurprised by what I got. Sometimes you just have to roll the dice and see what happens though. Snake eyes!
Craig's Grade: D+
Craig's Overall Grading: 340 graded movies
A10.9%
B41.8%
C31.8%
D15.3%
F0.3%
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