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Movie Review
Swept Away
By Lee Tistaert Published November 8, 2002
US Release: October 11, 2002
Directed by: Guy Ritchie
Starring: Madonna , Adriano Giannini
R
Running Time: 90 minutes
Domestic Box Office: $599,000
Directed by: Guy Ritchie
Starring: Madonna , Adriano Giannini
R
Running Time: 90 minutes
Domestic Box Office: $599,000
D+
70 of 143
One hell of an irritating and dull movie-going experience
I love Guy Ritchie as a writer and director, as he's (usually) able to take rather simple concepts, turn them into fun little trips into the heists department, and add ultra style and snazz into the bunch of what is already a slick and cool story.
In his latest effort, a remake to a 1974 movie of the same name, the director has managed to glide away from his usual shtick of a rather ensemble cast. But not only that, but Ritchie has managed to absolutely ditch his usual bag of stylistic tricks and techniques that made Lock Stock and Snatch so unique, with a rather silent and annoying story to take its place. To me, Guy Ritchie is not style-over-substance, as while his movies before this one have had tons of style they have also featured neat premises and characters very watch-able and enjoyable.
What sucks about Swept Away is that there are barely any characters to find sympathy for, or in other words - to actually appreciate. Most of the time I was having a tough time placing care for any living person on the set, with Adriano Giannini's role the only soul with a heart and someone who actually appears to be from planet earth. The other characters (with Madonna's in particular) are snobby, don't care about much, and are downright irritating to have to sit through their arrogant presence. Perhaps this was Guy Ritchie's full intent, but one of the only things he accomplished during the ninety-minute trip was almost getting my blood vessels to erupt from frustration. It probably didn't help that I had a massive headache at the time of seeing the movie, as on a couple occasions I was tempted to fall into lurking sleep that was overcoming me. And if it weren't for the fact that I had to drive myself home afterward, I probably would've went the extra couple yards and totally clonked out. Thus would've made this the first movie I've ever fallen asleep in at the movies.
I do realize that Swept Away is a remake, but I've overheard that even the film it's based on is actually good (something I should rent one of these days). This is where I turn to the filmmaker behind this project and scream, "what happened, Ritchie?!" The man that has produced fast-paced flicks with memorable lines and personas, fun journeys into their lives, and a trip to the movies worth the costy admission has instantaneously backfired with a movie that questions your presence in the theater.
It was the second day out in its limited release platform that I saw Swept Away at a 2:15 pm show in this single screen theater that holds 680 people, and there couldn't have been more than fifteen souls occupying seats. Of those other brave patrons in the room, I was really feeling sorry that many of them were having to pay $9.00 to experience the dreadful movie-going environment that was unfolding. But then again, as I flashbacked to its trailer it donned on me that there really wasn't anything within its promotional bits that would prompt a person with an actual brain to immediately hand over $9 bucks at the ticket window. I happen to be a pretty big Guy Ritchie fan, so I went for his legendary filmmaking motif but even I felt a bit stupid for even attempting the ride. I had to pay $7.50 to get in, which ended up being one of the most painful amounts I've shoveled over since Queen of the Damned (or Ballistic).
For those who do not know the background of the story, Swept Away involves a bitchy wife (Madonna) who goes on a cruise with her husband (Bruce Greenwood), only when the food servant (Giannini) takes her to the shore so she can get away from the boat for a little bit - their motor falls apart, leaving them stranded helplessly. As the two inch closer and closer toward the horizon of nothingness in the sea with a motor that refuses to jumpstart, these spots are supported by no background music except for the bitchy remarks of Madonna's character, Amber, along with Giuseppe's (Giannini) pointless attempts at giving her a lesson in the world of patience and unbitchiness. I was about ready to strangle Madonna in these sequences (and many more) and while maybe her character is meant for this type of reaction, it just didn't work for me in the league of quality.
Sometimes these characters are designed to create a response from the viewer but for me, the script was just so undeveloped and there was no attempt whatsoever to keep the show alive using music or the garage of Ritchie tricks. A lot of the scenes are filled with silence, with the two characters in front of us on the deserted island battling it out. We get that Amber has no knowledge of working for something in her life, we get that she has a sh*t attitude, we get that any guy with a sense of a brain would probably slap the crap out of her at the first available moment. I do, however, thank Guy Ritchie for actually inserting a moment or two where this actually does take place (unless it was in the original version as well) as my appreciation was at a greater level when that actually did occur. But it's just that the majority of this remake has no special fragrance behind the majority of its frames. It ends up being an hour and a half where the viewer is annoyed beyond belief by the arrogance presented on-screen, where barely any personal attachment is conducted.
Liking the personalities in a story is key to the enjoyment factor, or even if the personalities aren't extremely likeable you can possibly relate to some of them in a way, shape, or fashion. Swept Away features a group of characters you just want to slap around and go about your remaining life as if you never met them before. You almost pray that something bad happens to them just to whip them into shape or have something feel like a slap in the face in realizing who they really are. Maybe Ritchie's intent was to label a group of society and make a statement of how some people just cannot change from their egotistical way of life, but for me there was just no character development and no real definite reason why viewing these personalities' lives is a decent journey.
We can't really learn from much outside of the fact that with these types of folks in the world, life can suck. Essentially, by the end credits these people are the same a**holes they were in the opening frame. There's no real structure established outside of annoyingness to the top degree, and making the attempt to change one woman's view of life that theoretically just doesn't go anywhere in plot construction. It's like trying to change an egotistical a**hole into thinking a cool and sort of "normal" way when you are almost guaranteed that it just ain't gonna work. In a film like this, all Guy Ritchie is really doing is frustrating his audience with a premise that just goes from zero to zero in eight seconds.
Out of all the things I really didn't appreciate with Swept Away, there were a few aspects that kept it from scoring even lower than it is on my chart. For one, the character Giuseppe appears to be the only sane person in the cast with a personality we like (at least me) even though we feel bad for the way Amber treats him. He's the most human person on-screen, but the dead script just doesn't make anything else jump alive with excitement or energy. There were also some neat cinematography shots (some that felt like out of Cast Away) that were unfortunately ruined by the overall nature of the story.
Also, Guy Ritchie actually out of nowhere slips in a Madonna dance sequence through the mind of Giuseppe, and while it may be one of the most (and only) Ritchiest scenes of the entire production and actually aroused me out of my looming sleep for a few minutes - it's the only segment of the film where an actual use of style is used by the director. In that regard, it comes out of nowhere and creates a huge imbalance of mood as the rest of the feature is left to a lot of stillness and everything Guy Ritchie typically isn't in his filmmaking. It's as if Guy woke up suddenly in the night suddenly donning to him that he has inserted little-to-no Ritchie technique, with this brief little segment the only thing he can fit in easily.
As un-Hollywood as the climax is, I hated it but did dig into it a little bit. In one argument, it's got to be one of the most un-cheerful endings I've seen in a long time (along with giving the viewer a battling answer to solve in why we duked it out for ninety-minutes) but I appreciated Ritchie's attempt at going for an unconventional conclusion. Walking out, the first words coming to my mind were (sarcastically), "What a happy ending!" As coincidental as it was, there was something about Swept Away to me that viewing with an enormous headache sort of fit right in with the show. With the film's nothing message and overall nearly pointless adventure, it's almost hard to imagine seeing the movie without a pain in the head. In a similar situation, I happened to have been building into a fever/cold when I saw Human Nature (not the easiest experience), which also happened to be a very strangely constructed (but better done) project where my buddy and I were two of eight people in the room.
I'm actually surprised I've never used swept-out-of-theaters in regard to its embarrassing box office run, but from the opening scenes in Swept Away's bag the viewer already knows they're in for one hell of an irritating and dull movie-going experience. If you really cannot go through your life missing a Guy Ritchie flick (as I couldn't), save this for a rental on a night when you don't have the fullest expectations or when you're in the mood to watch literally anything to waste time. Guy Ritchie's one of the current great masters of style and while there may be little to none in this film, there's a few things to admire about Swept Away - "few" being very keyword.
In his latest effort, a remake to a 1974 movie of the same name, the director has managed to glide away from his usual shtick of a rather ensemble cast. But not only that, but Ritchie has managed to absolutely ditch his usual bag of stylistic tricks and techniques that made Lock Stock and Snatch so unique, with a rather silent and annoying story to take its place. To me, Guy Ritchie is not style-over-substance, as while his movies before this one have had tons of style they have also featured neat premises and characters very watch-able and enjoyable.
What sucks about Swept Away is that there are barely any characters to find sympathy for, or in other words - to actually appreciate. Most of the time I was having a tough time placing care for any living person on the set, with Adriano Giannini's role the only soul with a heart and someone who actually appears to be from planet earth. The other characters (with Madonna's in particular) are snobby, don't care about much, and are downright irritating to have to sit through their arrogant presence. Perhaps this was Guy Ritchie's full intent, but one of the only things he accomplished during the ninety-minute trip was almost getting my blood vessels to erupt from frustration. It probably didn't help that I had a massive headache at the time of seeing the movie, as on a couple occasions I was tempted to fall into lurking sleep that was overcoming me. And if it weren't for the fact that I had to drive myself home afterward, I probably would've went the extra couple yards and totally clonked out. Thus would've made this the first movie I've ever fallen asleep in at the movies.
I do realize that Swept Away is a remake, but I've overheard that even the film it's based on is actually good (something I should rent one of these days). This is where I turn to the filmmaker behind this project and scream, "what happened, Ritchie?!" The man that has produced fast-paced flicks with memorable lines and personas, fun journeys into their lives, and a trip to the movies worth the costy admission has instantaneously backfired with a movie that questions your presence in the theater.
It was the second day out in its limited release platform that I saw Swept Away at a 2:15 pm show in this single screen theater that holds 680 people, and there couldn't have been more than fifteen souls occupying seats. Of those other brave patrons in the room, I was really feeling sorry that many of them were having to pay $9.00 to experience the dreadful movie-going environment that was unfolding. But then again, as I flashbacked to its trailer it donned on me that there really wasn't anything within its promotional bits that would prompt a person with an actual brain to immediately hand over $9 bucks at the ticket window. I happen to be a pretty big Guy Ritchie fan, so I went for his legendary filmmaking motif but even I felt a bit stupid for even attempting the ride. I had to pay $7.50 to get in, which ended up being one of the most painful amounts I've shoveled over since Queen of the Damned (or Ballistic).
For those who do not know the background of the story, Swept Away involves a bitchy wife (Madonna) who goes on a cruise with her husband (Bruce Greenwood), only when the food servant (Giannini) takes her to the shore so she can get away from the boat for a little bit - their motor falls apart, leaving them stranded helplessly. As the two inch closer and closer toward the horizon of nothingness in the sea with a motor that refuses to jumpstart, these spots are supported by no background music except for the bitchy remarks of Madonna's character, Amber, along with Giuseppe's (Giannini) pointless attempts at giving her a lesson in the world of patience and unbitchiness. I was about ready to strangle Madonna in these sequences (and many more) and while maybe her character is meant for this type of reaction, it just didn't work for me in the league of quality.
Sometimes these characters are designed to create a response from the viewer but for me, the script was just so undeveloped and there was no attempt whatsoever to keep the show alive using music or the garage of Ritchie tricks. A lot of the scenes are filled with silence, with the two characters in front of us on the deserted island battling it out. We get that Amber has no knowledge of working for something in her life, we get that she has a sh*t attitude, we get that any guy with a sense of a brain would probably slap the crap out of her at the first available moment. I do, however, thank Guy Ritchie for actually inserting a moment or two where this actually does take place (unless it was in the original version as well) as my appreciation was at a greater level when that actually did occur. But it's just that the majority of this remake has no special fragrance behind the majority of its frames. It ends up being an hour and a half where the viewer is annoyed beyond belief by the arrogance presented on-screen, where barely any personal attachment is conducted.
Liking the personalities in a story is key to the enjoyment factor, or even if the personalities aren't extremely likeable you can possibly relate to some of them in a way, shape, or fashion. Swept Away features a group of characters you just want to slap around and go about your remaining life as if you never met them before. You almost pray that something bad happens to them just to whip them into shape or have something feel like a slap in the face in realizing who they really are. Maybe Ritchie's intent was to label a group of society and make a statement of how some people just cannot change from their egotistical way of life, but for me there was just no character development and no real definite reason why viewing these personalities' lives is a decent journey.
We can't really learn from much outside of the fact that with these types of folks in the world, life can suck. Essentially, by the end credits these people are the same a**holes they were in the opening frame. There's no real structure established outside of annoyingness to the top degree, and making the attempt to change one woman's view of life that theoretically just doesn't go anywhere in plot construction. It's like trying to change an egotistical a**hole into thinking a cool and sort of "normal" way when you are almost guaranteed that it just ain't gonna work. In a film like this, all Guy Ritchie is really doing is frustrating his audience with a premise that just goes from zero to zero in eight seconds.
Out of all the things I really didn't appreciate with Swept Away, there were a few aspects that kept it from scoring even lower than it is on my chart. For one, the character Giuseppe appears to be the only sane person in the cast with a personality we like (at least me) even though we feel bad for the way Amber treats him. He's the most human person on-screen, but the dead script just doesn't make anything else jump alive with excitement or energy. There were also some neat cinematography shots (some that felt like out of Cast Away) that were unfortunately ruined by the overall nature of the story.
Also, Guy Ritchie actually out of nowhere slips in a Madonna dance sequence through the mind of Giuseppe, and while it may be one of the most (and only) Ritchiest scenes of the entire production and actually aroused me out of my looming sleep for a few minutes - it's the only segment of the film where an actual use of style is used by the director. In that regard, it comes out of nowhere and creates a huge imbalance of mood as the rest of the feature is left to a lot of stillness and everything Guy Ritchie typically isn't in his filmmaking. It's as if Guy woke up suddenly in the night suddenly donning to him that he has inserted little-to-no Ritchie technique, with this brief little segment the only thing he can fit in easily.
As un-Hollywood as the climax is, I hated it but did dig into it a little bit. In one argument, it's got to be one of the most un-cheerful endings I've seen in a long time (along with giving the viewer a battling answer to solve in why we duked it out for ninety-minutes) but I appreciated Ritchie's attempt at going for an unconventional conclusion. Walking out, the first words coming to my mind were (sarcastically), "What a happy ending!" As coincidental as it was, there was something about Swept Away to me that viewing with an enormous headache sort of fit right in with the show. With the film's nothing message and overall nearly pointless adventure, it's almost hard to imagine seeing the movie without a pain in the head. In a similar situation, I happened to have been building into a fever/cold when I saw Human Nature (not the easiest experience), which also happened to be a very strangely constructed (but better done) project where my buddy and I were two of eight people in the room.
I'm actually surprised I've never used swept-out-of-theaters in regard to its embarrassing box office run, but from the opening scenes in Swept Away's bag the viewer already knows they're in for one hell of an irritating and dull movie-going experience. If you really cannot go through your life missing a Guy Ritchie flick (as I couldn't), save this for a rental on a night when you don't have the fullest expectations or when you're in the mood to watch literally anything to waste time. Guy Ritchie's one of the current great masters of style and while there may be little to none in this film, there's a few things to admire about Swept Away - "few" being very keyword.
Lee's Grade: D+
Ranked #70 of 143 between Abandon (#69) and Knockaround Guys (#71) for 2002 movies.
Ranked #70 of 143 between Abandon (#69) and Knockaround Guys (#71) for 2002 movies.
Lee's Overall Grading: 3025 graded movies
| A | 0.4% | |
| B | 30.0% | |
| C | 61.7% | |
| D | 8.0% | |
| F | 0.0% |
