Movie Review
Pompeii
Pompeii poster
By Craig Younkin     Published February 25, 2014
US Release: February 21, 2014

Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Emily Browning , Carrie-Anne Moss , Kiefer Sutherland

PG-13 for intense battle sequences, disaster-related action and brief sexual content
Running Time: 105 minutes
Domestic Box Office: $22,416,000
C-
The romance is shallow, corny territory, enough to make any young stars look dim and uninteresting.
Craig Younkin is also a reviewer for Movie Room Reviews

It’s kinda funny that throughout the entire hour and forty minute running time, nobody in Pompeii ever questions the rumbling sound that occasionally echoes throughout the city. Is this a regular occurrence that people just ignore like earthquakes in LA? Do they feel it’s just one of the Gods belching? What happens? Don’t expect much in the way of insight from “Pompeii,” a history lesson from the guy who brought us all 10 of those “Resident Evil” movies. Paul W.S Anderson finally gets to make a big budget disaster movie (as opposed to the disastrous movies he’s been making) and let’s give the guy credit, he at least copies and pastes from a successful source - James Cameron’s “Titanic.”

He and his three screenwriters center this around the doomed romance between The Celt (Kit Harrington, John Snow on “Game of Thrones), a captured slave looking to kill the Roman Senator (Kiefer Sutherland) that killed his mother and entire clan, and Cassia (Emily Browning), a Princess recently returned to Pompeii. Wouldn’t you know, her father (Jared Harris) is looking to get an investment into the city from the very same Senator, who apparently knows Cassia from her less than pleasurable time in Rome and has come to the city partly to seek her hand in marriage. Fat chance. She’s willing to hold out for the Celt, who’s pretty much the Lebron James of stabbing guys in the arena. This puts the Celt right in the crosshairs of the Senator but he’s also going to have that rumbling Mount Vesuvius to deal with a little later on.

The romance is shallow, corny territory, enough to make any young stars look dim and uninteresting. Its worst part is the Nicholas Sparks B.S of an ending - guys if your girlfriend says “awww” at this, dump her quick. Much of the setup to this feels pretty bland and uninteresting too, including the Celt meeting Atticus (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). Both start out as enemies but are soon united predictably by their honor and hatred for the Romans. There are tens of hundreds of movies and TV shows dealing with this genre that have made romance, friendships, and Roman cruelty so much better than this.

There is a fun arena battle here (really the only time this movie ever really springs to life) and Sutherland is also kinda fun in this arrogant villain role (it is a little depressing, however, to see him going from Jack Bauer to basically playing the thankless Billy Zane role) but any good will the movie gains literally goes up with the volcano as poor special effects and what amounts to a bunch of extras and the three main characters running and screaming as buildings are destroyed around them (PG-13 = very few shown deaths) hardly makes the wait seem worth it. So basically you should disregard what the people of Pompeii are doing and try and leave as soon as possible. Or better yet, just don’t even go in the first place.
Craig's Grade: C-
Craig's Overall Grading: 340 graded movies
A10.9%
B41.8%
C31.8%
D15.3%
F0.3%
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